7 Steps to Quietly Exit a System That Wants You Dependent
If you’ve ever thought, “This can’t be it,” you’re right.
The system isn’t broken. It’s working exactly as designed—to keep you dependent, distracted, and depleted (see previous article The Game Was Rigged—So Why Are We Still Playing). But here's the quiet truth: you can leave.
Not all at once. Not entirely. But you can begin removing yourself, piece by piece, dependency by dependency. And when you do, you start to recover something the system was never designed to give you: sovereignty.
So where do you start?
Step 1: Food
Food is foundational. Control your food, control your fate.
Food is one of the easiest systems to reclaim—and one of the most fragile.
Grow something. Anything. Herbs on a windowsill, sprouts in a jar, or a raised bed in the backyard. We trippled the amount of food we are growing in our garden this year. One of our neighbors called us "Homesteaders."
Preserve excess. Learn to dehydrate, can, or ferment. If you grow zucchini, you’ll need this skill by July. A great place to start is the National Center for Home Food Preservation which offers detailed, research-backed guides for safe food storage methods.
Join or start a garden network. Trade your tomatoes for someone else’s peppers. I guarantee asking on social media, “Who else has a garden and would like to trade?” will get results.
Small win: Replace one grocery item with a homegrown or traded equivalent.
You’ve Been Trained to Depend on the System for Survival—Here’s How to Break Free
For more ways to create resilience in your food network read this follow up essay.
Step 2: Power down dependence.
Our power grid is aging. Weather events and supply shortages are increasingly common. Building resilience here doesn’t mean going off-grid tomorrow—it means preparing for interruptions.
Solar panels with battery backup. Start small with a portable power station or panel. There are affordable used options on FB Marketplace.
Cook without the grid. Try a rocket stove, solar oven, camp stove, BBQs, or propane griddle.
Track your usage. Awareness precedes optimization.
Small win: Identify one appliance you could power during an outage.
Step 3: Security isn’t money—it’s access.
We’re conditioned to think money is security. But money is just a tool. Security comes from what that money connects you to, often, systems of extraction.
Reduce fixed costs. Cancel unused subscriptions, renegotiate bills.
Barter and trade. Offer skills or items in your community before spending cash.
Invest in tools and systems. A water barrel, a bike, a pressure canner—these generate long-term value.
Small win: Make one money-free exchange this month. If you live in the San Jose, CA area, try my local sharing app, currently in beta, https://NeighborhoodShare.app.
Convenience Is the Cage: Why Redefining Wealth Is the First Step to Freedom
Most people think wealth means having money. But money is just a tool—just one way to access what we need.
Read this follow-up article for additional tips on how to think of money.
Step 4: Relearn what matters.
The system tells us where to learn and what matters. But we now have the power to unlearn, relearn, and teach.
Teach your kids (and yourself) differently. Project-based learning. Critical thinking. Real-world application.
Start a skill-share circle. Every neighborhood has teachers—they just don’t all have classrooms.
Document what works. Our experiments become someone else’s roadmap.
Small win: Learn (or teach) one hands-on skill this week.
Step 5: The real safety net? Each other.
You don’t have to overthrow the system. You just have to stop needing it so much.
Build mutual aid. A text thread of neighbors > 911 for minor emergencies.
Organize block-level support. Share tools, meals, or childcare.
Vote with your time. Pour effort into systems that reward connection, not consumption.
Small win: Start a shared resource, whether it’s a group text, a tool library, or a babysitting swap, with at least one neighbor this week.
Step 6: Stay in touch when systems fail.
When systems go down, your ability to communicate becomes a lifeline. Having off-grid, redundant, and resilient communication tools can keep your network informed and connected when it matters most.
Set up group chats now. Use Signal, Discord, or a shared Notion page for community plans.
Post analog info too. A whiteboard, chalkboard, or bulletin board in your yard can inform neighbors during outages.
Try local mesh networks. Tools like Meshtastic allow for low-power, decentralized communication even without cell service or Wi-Fi.
Small win: Set up at least one communication backup system, digital or analog, that works if the grid goes down.
Step 7: Build belonging on your block.
Ultimately, resilience is a group activity. You don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be connected.
Host an outdoor movie night.
Invite neighbors over to play games.
Throw a seasonal block party.
It only takes a few good ideas and a few people willing to act on them to start the change.
Small win: Plan one fun event that brings people together in the next 30 days.
What Comes Next
This isn’t a prescription for becoming a homesteader overnight. It’s an invitation: to start walking. To reduce fragility, build community, and claim agency—one system at a time.
Because here’s the truth: no one’s coming to save us. But we can save each other.
And if we do it right, we won’t just survive the collapse of fragile systems.
We’ll build something far better in their place.
Calls to Action:
✅ Liked this post? Subscribe to get a new good idea every week.
💬 Leave a comment: What’s the one system you’re exiting or want to?
🔁 Share this with someone quietly planning their escape.
P.S. Yep, this is the part where I ask for money—ironic, I know.
If this piece helped you think differently, feel a little more grounded, or take one practical step toward opting out—consider tossing a few bucks my way. Not because I want to get rich (spoiler: I’m building systems to make money less central), but because we're still living in the old world while building the new one.
Every coffee, subscription, or introduction helps fund the real work:
NeighborhoodShare – local lending, sharing, and community resilience
The Unnamed Garden Project – grow-your-own, zip-code-based planting guides
Affordable Solar & Battery Backup – DIY plans that actually work
Mesh networks for communication when the grid is down
And building the community infrastructure—forums, guides, tools, and economic alternatives—for what comes next
I'm not trying to be the leader. Just a guy holding the blueprint until enough of us show up to build. If you believe in this vision—or want to help shape it—there are two great ways to contribute:
Buy me a coffee (or something stronger): It fuels independent work.
Introduce me to someone who’s building, funding, or dreaming of something better. Let's link arms.
Grateful for your time, your attention, and your belief that we can do better.
Additional articles that go into more depth on each of these steps:
This is so good, and right on time.
Yes it starts at home.
AND, we can collectively build a community based, anti-fragile system that facilitates the disconnection from this parasitic system
Hey Mike, Fantastic article! Sending several of these suggestions right to my calendar and my task manager and going to check more of your content. These are the types of conversations i enjoy being a part of.